Christmas Carol from SHAMELESS

Christmas comes every freakin’ year
Dumb gifts and empty yule-tide cheer.
kick back, be cool,
‘Cause we’re in this boat together.
Grab a stool, and raise your glass
Let’s try to laugh, this too shall pass,
Hear hear!

Roll out the beer,
Uncork the wine
To Grandmother’s house
For Auld lang syne.
We’ll endure,
Yet one more cremated turkey
While some have fun
Like Muslim dudes,
And Sikhs and Jews,
Who get Chinese food,
And a movie.

Whiskey,
Gin Bourbon Vodka Scotch
We’ll drink most anything you’ve got.
Designate,
Give your keys to someone boring,
Get plotzed, without fear,
But if you drive,
Take Wacker Drive,
There’s fewer cops -
We hear.

Al-co-holism’s not a joke.
Nor are prescription drugs or dope.
If you quit,
We admire your strength and courage,
But let’s be clear,
We’d love your stash,
We’ll pay in cash
And have some fun -
This year.

Why can’t we all just get along.
perhaps if we sing this stupid song.
And give thanks,
For s*** that isn’t broken
Raise a cheer,
For Tina Fey,
Corvette Stingrays,
For Wrigley Field,
And Navy SEALs,
The Rolling Stones,
And mobile phones,
Harley-Davidsons,
And shameless self promotion
And beer.